Remembering Grace...

Luke 15:19-24 NIV


I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father. 

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.  "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.     

Today, I was praying and soaking in God's presence. I began to reflect on my spiritual journey and when I gave my life back to the Lord.

The moment when I met Jesus again and experienced His grace. It was the summer of 1996. July in Positano, Italy. 

I was reading a book called "The God of Surprises",

written by a Catholic Priest in England.

His name was Gerard Hughes.

I was sitting on a veranda reading the book and journalling.

The sky was sunny, the ocean beautiful.

Flowers blooming all around me... 
The villa was bustling with life.

And yet my world was filled with sorrow, depression, anger,

and such a feeling of tremendous failure and loss. 

I was going through a painful divorce.

I was pregnant by a man I was dating.

My anger was out of control.

My life was spinning into chaos.

I was doing a horrible job trying to manage my own life.

I was lost and in complete darkness.

As I read the book, the God of grace began to reveal Himself to me. His name was Jesus. I began to read about a God who loved people. He loved hanging out with sinners. He loved being with flawed people.  I was so flawed.

In that moment of prayer, Jesus held out his hand to me. He did not point out that I was in an adulterous relationship with Mike (my husband now). He did not point out the failures of my marriage. He did not point out that I was pregnant from Mike while still legally married to my ex-husband.

He did not point back to my two abortions.

He did not point back to my rape or my molestation.

No, all I saw was the face of Jesus.

There were tears streaming down His face.

And He was whispering to me.

I leaned in to hear what He was saying.

As I sat in this moment of prayer with Jesus, I wept.

He was not looking at my sin. He was looking at my heart.

As Jesus held out His hand to me, 
He whispered to me, 
"Do you want to come home Lori?"

As I heard His whisper, I sobbed uncontrollably. 

The tears streamed down my cheek.

"Me?", you actually would want me?".

I could not believe He would want me.

I sobbed for hours in that quiet place.
My heart laid open and bare before the God of grace.
I was still in His presence.


While sobbing, my heart nodded in response to His invitation.

"Yes Lord, I want to come home".
"Lord", I said as I kept crying, "I can't lead my own life,
forgive me Lord for all that I have done."

Jesus pulled me tightly into His arms.

And to this day, He has not let go.

Oh, the sweet presence of grace.

Nothing can wash away our past like His grace.

Nothing can give us a new start and a new life but Jesus.

Nothing can empower us within, except His grace.

Nothing can meet the demands of each day, except His grace.
Nothing can wash away our mistakes of today like His grace.

Tonight, as I am going to bed, I am so thankful for GRACE. I am thankful for the empowering presence of His grace to sustain me each day.  Just Give Me Jesus.

The One who looked at me, while in the pit of darkness, and did not rub my nose in my failures.  Rather with such intense love in His heart, He whispered, "Do you want to come home Lori"?

Oh Lord, never let me forget the presence of grace (YOU) in my life and always let me be your arm to others of grace.  Never let me become religious, or lose sight of all those you desire to extend a hand to.  The world needs to know your love more than anything else.  People are aching for inner peace.  To know they are loved no matter what they have done.  People need to know they can have a fresh start every day with you. They need to know you are NOT a God who is pointing out sin, but you are a God who is crying and asking, "Do you want to come home?".  Lord, make us into people who are asking people this every day.  Help us to reach the 1.9 million people who call the Sacramento region home; those who do not know you.