Remembering Grace...

Luke 15:19-24 NIV


I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father. 

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.  "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.     

Today, I was praying and soaking in God's presence. I began to reflect on my spiritual journey and when I gave my life back to the Lord.

The moment when I met Jesus again and experienced His grace. It was the summer of 1996. July in Positano, Italy. 

I was reading a book called "The God of Surprises",

written by a Catholic Priest in England.

His name was Gerard Hughes.

I was sitting on a veranda reading the book and journalling.

The sky was sunny, the ocean beautiful.

Flowers blooming all around me... 
The villa was bustling with life.

And yet my world was filled with sorrow, depression, anger,

and such a feeling of tremendous failure and loss. 

I was going through a painful divorce.

I was pregnant by a man I was dating.

My anger was out of control.

My life was spinning into chaos.

I was doing a horrible job trying to manage my own life.

I was lost and in complete darkness.

As I read the book, the God of grace began to reveal Himself to me. His name was Jesus. I began to read about a God who loved people. He loved hanging out with sinners. He loved being with flawed people.  I was so flawed.

In that moment of prayer, Jesus held out his hand to me. He did not point out that I was in an adulterous relationship with Mike (my husband now). He did not point out the failures of my marriage. He did not point out that I was pregnant from Mike while still legally married to my ex-husband.

He did not point back to my two abortions.

He did not point back to my rape or my molestation.

No, all I saw was the face of Jesus.

There were tears streaming down His face.

And He was whispering to me.

I leaned in to hear what He was saying.

As I sat in this moment of prayer with Jesus, I wept.

He was not looking at my sin. He was looking at my heart.

As Jesus held out His hand to me, 
He whispered to me, 
"Do you want to come home Lori?"

As I heard His whisper, I sobbed uncontrollably. 

The tears streamed down my cheek.

"Me?", you actually would want me?".

I could not believe He would want me.

I sobbed for hours in that quiet place.
My heart laid open and bare before the God of grace.
I was still in His presence.


While sobbing, my heart nodded in response to His invitation.

"Yes Lord, I want to come home".
"Lord", I said as I kept crying, "I can't lead my own life,
forgive me Lord for all that I have done."

Jesus pulled me tightly into His arms.

And to this day, He has not let go.

Oh, the sweet presence of grace.

Nothing can wash away our past like His grace.

Nothing can give us a new start and a new life but Jesus.

Nothing can empower us within, except His grace.

Nothing can meet the demands of each day, except His grace.
Nothing can wash away our mistakes of today like His grace.

Tonight, as I am going to bed, I am so thankful for GRACE. I am thankful for the empowering presence of His grace to sustain me each day.  Just Give Me Jesus.

The One who looked at me, while in the pit of darkness, and did not rub my nose in my failures.  Rather with such intense love in His heart, He whispered, "Do you want to come home Lori"?

Oh Lord, never let me forget the presence of grace (YOU) in my life and always let me be your arm to others of grace.  Never let me become religious, or lose sight of all those you desire to extend a hand to.  The world needs to know your love more than anything else.  People are aching for inner peace.  To know they are loved no matter what they have done.  People need to know they can have a fresh start every day with you. They need to know you are NOT a God who is pointing out sin, but you are a God who is crying and asking, "Do you want to come home?".  Lord, make us into people who are asking people this every day.  Help us to reach the 1.9 million people who call the Sacramento region home; those who do not know you.

Moving Us Along

God controls how people feel toward us

John Piper

Then the LORD said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these miraculous signs of mine among them that you may tell your children and grandchildren how I dealt harshly with the Egyptians and how I performed my signs among them and that you may know that I am the LORD." Exodus 10:1-3

What an interesting statement to ponder.  I saw that statement from John Piper as a Tweet on Twitter and it got my heart and a mind a stirring.  

So, how do you feel about this statement that "God controls how people feel about you"?  What is the feeling or nudge that arises in your heart when you hear that?  Be a good Berean and search God's Word. 


I know my initial response was, "well, I don't like that Lord nor do I know if I agree with that statement".  But as I pondered and looked into the Word, I began to meditate and think upon on this passage in Exodus.

That statement by John Piper began to draw up all sorts of questions in my heart.

So, what does John Piper mean? What does God's Word say?

Scripture is very clear that we have an adversary that prowls around like a lion seeking someone to devour. It also tells us that the enemy comes to seek, kill, and destroy. 


"Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8


"The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  John 10:10


Satan hates man (you and I) because man (yes, you and I) are highly favored with God. Not because man (you or I) deserve it, but because Jesus gave His life to redeem man (you and I).  This is what Easter is all about.  A Divine exchange.  Jesus' life for yours.  And for mine.

When we repent of our ways and ask Jesus into our hearts, Jesus takes us from one kingdom and brings us into another (His).  And we become sons and daughters, heirs and co-heirs.


"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:13-14

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."  Romans 8:16-18

But, I would say it is safe to say that at times, in the Word there are incidences, like this one with Moses and Pharaoh where God strategically hardens hearts.

Here, God hardened Pharaoh's heart so that the Israelites could be set free and the world would know it was GOD ALONE who did it.  God wanted to be seen and to be known in the miracles taking place. God wanted to reveal who He was in the light all the counterfeit gods of Egypt.  God wanted to reveal He was LORD.

So, God does allow the hardening of hearts in some incidents in order to bring about His purposes in the earth.  Why?  Exodus 10:1-3 tells us.  So that our children and our grandchildren will know He is LORD.

A short while back, someone was telling a story of time when he was pastoring a church.  Late one night, all the elders of that church invited him to a meeting. They did not tell him what the meeting was about. They asked him to come to a meeting at a coffee house at 10 pm at night.  When he went to the meeting, he was fired.  He was not told why, nor given explanation. For a while, his heart was filled with anger, offense and bitterness at how they went about letting him go from his pastoral assignment.  He was a man who deeply loved God and loved his flock.  He could not understand nor see God's plan or intentions through it all.

He shared when he was processing this traumatic event with the Lord (seeking to forgive these men), the Lord reminded him how he had been calling and asking him to start building a para-church teaching ministry and yet he had not had the courage to move into that. To step into that would of required a faith he did not have at the time.

Well, this event catapulted this man into his calling. He was forced to begin to develop his teaching material and his heart for ministry, and do what God had created him to do.  Now he speaks all over the world to thousands and thousands of people on the topic of prayer.

I would say, this was one of those Divine moments where God hardened the hearts of those elders in order that God's will might be accomplished in the earth.  Now, I am not saying this is what happened with this man, only God knows that.   

But this story of my friend does comes to mind as I meditate on this passage above in Exodus.  God has His way of doing things and moving us along, that are usually NOT the way we would do things.  

What we think would be best, often times are not even second best on God's list. His dreams for us entail even more than we could ever imagine. 

I don't think this man's ultimate call was to pastor a flock of a few hundred, it was to literally teach thousands of people around the world how to pray.


God had to harden some hearts in order to move this man along in his calling.

God's ways are not our ways.  His way, although sometimes more difficult, is always the best way.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  Isaiah 55:8

Lord, thank you for your word today.  Thank you Lord, that in certain times, you harden people's hearts in order for your will to be accomplished.  Help us to understand how your goodness, your mercy and your grace are always at the center of your heart and all that you do.  You can do nothing apart from love, for love is who you are.  You are love.  Thank you Lord for moving us along in the way that you believe is best.  We love you Jesus.  In your name we pray, Amen.